Welcome, brave souls, to the exhilarating journey of perimenopause!

Whether you're a partner, friend, family member, or a cherished confidant, your role as an ally is crucial during this transformative phase.

Here is exactly what you can do to support them.  

1. Know the Signs 

Understanding Perimenopause and What is Happening:

Perimenopause is a natural phase of life, yet for many, it remains a hushed topic shrouded in mystery. 

Thankfully, The paradigm of simply suffering through perimenopause quietly and alone, is closing its last chapter. Women all over the world are waking up to the fact that this is real and it’s tough. 

One of the challenges of navigating perimenopause is recognizing its onset. Just as each of us is unique, so too is the experience of menopause.

Typically occurring between the ages of 35 and 50, perimenopause can catch one off guard, especially if symptoms manifest earlier or later than expected.

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of menopause is paramount. As a supportive ally, your first step may be to observe these symptoms alongside your loved one, offering understanding and empathy every step of the way.

However, these symptoms aren't always overtly apparent.

In a 2021 survey, many experiencing perimenopause reported encountering brain fog, disrupted sleep patterns, mood fluctuations, weight changes, anxiety, and a diminished sex drive.

Additional common symptoms of menopause include:

- Hot flushes

- Night sweats

- Sleep disturbances

- Reduced libido

- Cognitive challenges such as memory lapses and difficulty concentrating

- Vaginal dryness and discomfort

- Mood shifts encompassing feelings of depression and anxiety

By familiarizing yourself with these signs and symptoms, you'll be better equipped to offer unwavering support and understanding as your loved one navigates the intricate landscape of perimenopause. 

 

2. Listen and Be Patient 

Ah, the power of a listening ear!

It may seem like a no-brainer, but offering your undivided attention can be a game-changer during the tumultuous journey of perimenopause.

Why? Because everyone's experience with perimenopause is as unique as a fingerprint, making it a deeply personal and sometimes challenging transition.

By providing a safe space for your loved one to express themselves, you're not only offering a shoulder to lean on but also fostering a sense of trust and openness.

This simple act of listening can empower them to share their experiences not only about perimenopause but also about other aspects of their life, whether it's struggles at work, tensions at home, or concerns with friends.

For many women navigating perimenopause, acceptance of this new phase of life and a changing body is difficult.

In fact the stats are in:  Perimenopause exacts a toll that extends beyond mere physical discomfort. Marriages may strain under the weight of hormonal fluctuations, while workplace performance may falter as concentration wavers.

Shockingly, approximately 10 percent of women contemplate leaving their jobs altogether due to the severity of their symptoms. Moreover, health risks escalate, and alarmingly, the risk of suicide rises.

The average onset of menopause occurs at age 51, coinciding with reports indicating that women aged 45-54 face the highest suicide rates.

This sobering reality underscores the urgency of providing unwavering support, lending a compassionate ear, and remaining attentive to the needs of those navigating this challenging phase.

So, brew a pot of tea, cozy up on the couch, and let the conversation flow. Your willingness to listen without judgment or interruption can create a safe space that can be life saving.

3. Don’t Take it Personal

Navigating perimenopause can sometimes feel like riding a rollercoaster without a safety harness.

Mood swings, irritability, and moments of rage may arise seemingly out of nowhere, leaving loved ones feeling bewildered or hurt. But here's the important thing to remember: it's not personal.

When someone going through perimenopause experiences mood swings or displays signs of irritability, it's crucial to approach the situation with understanding and empathy.

Recognize that these reactions aren't deliberate; they're simply a byproduct of hormonal fluctuations and the challenges of navigating this transformative phase.

Brain fog, a common symptom of perimenopause characterized by difficulty concentrating and memory lapses, can further exacerbate frustrations. It's like trying to navigate through a thick fog with limited visibility—it's disorienting and can leave one feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

Instead of internalizing these moments and assuming they're a reflection of your relationship, try to see them for what they are: temporary symptoms of major life transition.

Rather than attributing their behavior to personal shortcomings or intentional slights, approach it with compassion and understanding.

However, it's also essential to reflect on your actions and consider if there's anything you may have done to inadvertently contribute to their distress.

While menopause may amplify certain emotions or reactions, it's not a blanket excuse for overlooking genuine concerns or grievances.

By reframing your perspective and viewing these moments as manifestations of menopausal symptoms rather than personal attacks, you can foster greater understanding, empathy, and harmony within your relationship. Remember, we're all in this together. 

4. Adjust Expectations… Sexually  

As partners, it's important to recognize that the landscape of intimacy may shift during perimenopause and menopause. Your once-enthusiastic partner may experience fluctuations in their sexual desire, but rest assured, this change is temporary. 

Many women find that their libido returns to its former glory once menopause is complete. Plus, the absence of the fear of pregnancy can add an extra spark to your intimate moments.

Additionally, it's common for perimenopausal women to experience vaginal dryness due to declining estrogen levels. This dryness can make intimacy uncomfortable and even painful. However, there's good news: exploring lubricants and sex toys can help alleviate discomfort and enhance pleasure.

So, as you navigate these changes together, keep an open mind, adjust your expectations and be willing to try new things. These adjustments can strengthen your connection and lead to fulfilling and satisfying intimate experiences.

5. Respect Temperature Preferences 

 

Hot flashes can send your loved one's internal thermometer soaring, while sudden chills can leave them shivering. In the midst of this climatic chaos, giving them control over the thermostat can be a game-changer.

Whether it's adjusting the thermostat or simply opening a window, relinquishing control of the thermostat is a gesture of empowerment. Because, it's not just about the temperature—By allowing them to dictate the temperature, you're not just ensuring their physical comfort; you're also acknowledging their autonomy and agency.

This small act of empowerment can make a world of difference.

 

6. Keep A Sense of Humour

 

Maintaining a sense of humor can be a lifesaver during the ups and downs of perimenopause and menopause. It's a reminder that, despite the challenges, you can still find moments of joy and laughter together.

Just remember to use good judgment. Avoid jokes that might unintentionally hurt or offend your partner, and steer clear of using humor as a weapon. And, maybe know your timing. Instead, focus on light-hearted jokes and playful banter that bring you closer together and keep the mood positive.

By keeping a sense of humor, you not only navigate through the rough patches with ease but also strengthen your bond as you laugh through the journey together.

7. Boost Self-Confidence

A simple compliment can work wonders for boosting self-confidence during perimenopause.

Whether it's a heartfelt remark about your partner's smile, a nod to their witty humor, or a gentle reminder of their inner strength, expressing admiration and appreciation can make a world of difference.

Saying "you look nice" or "you're amazing" may seem small, but it can have a big impact on your loved one's self-esteem. It's a reminder that, despite the changes their body may be going through, they are still cherished and admired for who they are.

Take it from someone who recently gained a few pounds and was pleasantly surprised by their partner's increased infatuation. It's not about the number on the scale or the outward appearance; it's about feeling valued and loved for exactly who you are.

So, don't underestimate the power of a kind comment or a genuine compliment. It may be just what your loved one needs to feel confident and empowered during this transformative phase of life.

8. Limit Guilt

During perimenopause and menopause, your partner may experience a heavy burden of guilt. As women, they often feel the pressure to juggle multiple responsibilities and meet everyone's needs, leaving them feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

It's essential to understand that this is a time for them to prioritize self-care and focus on their own well-being. Encouraging and supporting them in this journey can be incredibly empowering and life-giving.

As their partner, you play a crucial role in helping to limit their feelings of guilt. Remind them that it's okay to set boundaries and prioritize themselves. Offer to take on tasks or responsibilities to lighten their load and give them the space they need to recharge.

By being a source of support and encouragement, you can help your partner navigate perimenopause with grace and self-compassion, allowing them to thrive during this transformative phase of life.

9. Validate Her Experience

It's crucial to understand that the challenges your partner is facing during perimenopause are real and valid. It's not just a phase or something to be brushed aside—it's a significant life transition that can be incredibly difficult to navigate.

By acknowledging and validating your partner's experience, you're providing them with much-needed reassurance and support. You're letting them know that they're not alone in this journey, and their feelings and symptoms are valid and worthy of attention.

So, take the time to listen to your partner's concerns, validate their emotions, and assure them that you're there for them every step of the way.

Your understanding and validation can be a lifeline during this challenging time, helping your partner feel seen, heard, and supported as they navigate perimenopause.

10. Take Care of Yourself

Airplane rules apply here: you must put your own mask on before helping others. 

As you support your loved one through perimenopause, it's crucial to remember to prioritize your own well-being as well. While it's natural to want to be there for them every step of the way, neglecting your own needs can lead to burnout and resentment.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's essential for both you and your loved one. By ensuring that you're physically, mentally, and emotionally well, you'll be better equipped to provide the support and understanding they need during this challenging time.

Make time for self-care activities that replenish your energy and nourish your soul. Whether it's going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness and meditation, or indulging in a hobby you love, carving out time for yourself is vital for maintaining balance and resilience.

Additionally, don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family members, or a therapist if you need it. Having a support system in place can provide you with the strength and perspective you need to navigate the ups and downs of supporting a loved one through perimenopause.

Perimenopause affects each individual differently, making it essential for partners to approach the transition with education, empathy and support.

There's no one-size-fits-all solution, but by being attentive, asking questions, and acknowledging that these challenges involve both of you as a couple you can emerge from perimenopause stronger and more connected than ever before.