This site has limited support for your browser. We recommend switching to Edge, Chrome, Safari, or Firefox.

FREE U.S. SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $65+

Cart 0

No more products available for purchase

Subtotal Free
Shipping, taxes, and discount codes are calculated at checkout

Perimenopause and Sex: Your Cheat Sheet for Navigating Changes

Perimenopause and Sex: Your Cheat Sheet for Navigating Changes

The kids are finally in bed, you've had a relaxing shower, and now it's time for some much-needed intimacy. But if you're not feeling confident and everything seems to have shifted, you're not alone.

 But if perimenopause or menopause has introduced some new changes to your sex life, don’t worry. We've put together a quick cheat sheet addressing some of the most common questions about sex during these stages, so you can focus on enjoying the moment and feeling confident.

Read on to gain valuable insights and feel more empowered in your journey. 

 

What changes occur in vaginal health as we age?

As we transition through perimenopause, estrogen levels decline, leading to several changes in vaginal health:

  • Thinning Tissue: The vaginal lining becomes thinner and more fragile, making it easier to tear.
  • Dryness: Reduced estrogen results in decreased natural lubrication, which can cause discomfort during intercourse.
  • Support Loss: The supportive tissue in the pelvic area weakens, affecting how pelvic organs are held in place. This can lead to a sensation of things "bumping" or feeling "in the way."

 

What do I do if sex has started to become painful?

If sex has become painful, it’s often due to the drop in estrogen levels during perimenopause, which can lead to vaginal dryness. This dryness can make intimacy uncomfortable or even painful. To address this, it’s crucial to use both a lubricant and a vaginal moisturizer. 

According to our expert, "When choosing a lubricant, consider this: if you wouldn’t eat it, don’t put it on your vagina. What you apply down there goes directly into your bloodstream." Opt for a high-quality lubricant and a vaginal moisturizer to maintain comfort. Lubricants come in water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based varieties—choose one that works best for you. Use the moisturizer regularly to keep the vaginal tissue hydrated and flexible, ensuring a more comfortable experience.

 

What do I do if I can’t orgasm like I used to?

It’s completely natural for your sexual response to change as your body evolves over the years. The reality is, the body you have at 42 is not the same as the one you had at 25, and this can sometimes be a tough adjustment. Many women find that positions or techniques that once worked perfectly now feel less effective. It’s important to understand that you’re not alone in this experience—many women feel isolated, thinking they’re the only ones struggling with these changes.

Self-care plays a key role in addressing these shifts. Instead of relying on quick fixes like alcohol, focus on finding ways to relax and reconnect with your body. This might mean exploring new forms of intimacy with your partner, experimenting with different approaches, or simply giving yourself the space to unwind. Open communication with your partner about what’s working and what’s not can also help both of you adapt and improve your experience together. Remember, it’s normal for sexual pleasure to fluctuate over time, and being patient and kind to yourself during this process can make all the difference.

 

How Can We Improve Sex as We Age

Improving your sex life as you age can often hinge on understanding and addressing the health of your pelvic floor. One key aspect is learning how to properly contract and relax these muscles. While Kegel exercises are commonly recommended, they might not always be the best approach if your pelvic floor is already tense. 

In fact, many women in the perimenopausal phase experience significant tension in their pelvic floor due to stress, fatigue, and lack of sleep. This tension can hinder sexual pleasure because the muscles are too tight to fully contract and relax. Working with a pelvic health therapist can help you "down train" these muscles, allowing them to relax and function more effectively. Just as tight hamstrings can affect your range of motion, a tight pelvic floor can limit your sexual enjoyment. By focusing on relaxation techniques and proper muscle training, you can enhance both your comfort and pleasure.

 

How should I tell my partner I want different things in bed now? 

Navigating changes in your sexual desires as you age can be challenging, especially when it comes to communicating those changes to your partner. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations about what you're experiencing. Many women, particularly in more traditional settings, find it difficult to discuss these changes and often end up feeling broken and alone.

Start by sharing what you’re going through and express that you might need to explore different approaches together. It’s important to remember that your partner likely doesn't know what's happening and is probably open to trying new things to enhance your mutual experience. Explain any discomfort or changes in pleasure you're experiencing and suggest experimenting with new techniques or positions. Emphasizing that this is a journey for both of you can help frame the conversation positively. Often, partners are eager to adapt and make the experience enjoyable for both of you. Communication and exploration are key to maintaining a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual relationship.

So if your bedroom routine isn’t what it used to be, remember that this phase is just another chapter in your evolving journey. Embrace these changes with patience and open dialogue to keep intimacy fulfilling and enjoyable.



Leave a comment